Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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