it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
