kristin has been a bad kristin
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
