I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
