In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
