I want to have your abortion
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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