I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
