can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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