OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
