And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
