I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
