Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
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A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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