She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
did i just pee glitter
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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