Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
