fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
