Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
