Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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