i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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