our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
