Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
