your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
