i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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