biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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