Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.