the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other