I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
