Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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