He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
