She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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