After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
