why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
