He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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