A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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