Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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