I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Are my feet made of real feet?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
