Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
