Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
