Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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