Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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