He had one of those small greek statue penises
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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