He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
