im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
