the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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