Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
