I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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