Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
