Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
that is very illegal...i love you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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