I cannot find my penis.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
