whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
