HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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