my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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