I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
