I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
