All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
