dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
