the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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