Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
