So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize