Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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