Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The air was thick with penises
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
