I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she told me i tasted like america
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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