I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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