Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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